ASK BOBBY!
by The Mad Dragon
Summary: You got questions, Bobby's got answers. And sarcasm. And beer. May contain spoilers.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER****: Me? Own Supernatural? That's about as likely as Dean giving up classic rock and roll.**

**A/N: Please leave your questions in the Review box, or just PM them to me. I promise I'll answer all I can.**

**And yeah, there WILL be spoilers in here if people ask for them.**

**SESSION: 1**

Alright brats. I've recently had the misfortune of learning about other worlds outside of this mine, only I exist on a TV show in yours. And seeing as how I lost a bet to Castiel, I have to answer any questions you runts ask. Whether or not you you'll end up liking the answers, well... I don't care.

Now lets start this crapfest so I can get to drinkin' and huntin'.

_QUESTION: What caused you falling out with John?_

ANSWER: John owed me two hundred bucks and kept forgetting to pay. A lot.

_QUESTION: How long have you known the Winchesters?_

ANSWER: Depends. I heard of 'em fifteen years ago, and I met 'em four years later. Had my first row with John a week after that. Not an easy man to get along with, let me tell ya.

_QUESTION: What was the worst thing you ever hunted?_

ANSWER: Depends on what you define 'worst' as. The most _evil _thing I've taken out was a demon. The one that was the biggest _pain in the ass_ to find and kill was a wendigo in Canada. Mostly because I ahd to track it for three damn weeks in some _damn_ spooky woods. And there was the... Mounty incident.. (Do you know how fuckin' hard it is to sneak guns across the border?)

_QUESTION: Do Sam and Dean have a sister? And did she have special powers?_

ANSWER: NO. God Almighty, where the Hell do you people come up with this crap? John's wife only had TWO SONS. And Sam only got his be bein' born a 'special' time.

_QUESTION: Is the Yellow Eyed Demon really gone? Or is he in Hell, awaiting a return._

ANSWER: Yeah, he's gone. As for that last bit, I don't rightly know. And if he's in Hell, he can STAY THERE! Hell, even that demon bitch Ruby couldn't completely figure out how the Colt does what it does. And I _highly_ suspect she only stole that knife of hers.

_QUESTION: Did Dean reallly get pulled out of Hell by an Angel?_

ANSWER: As far as we can tell, yeah. And Angels ain't nice, read the Bible. They can be pretty damn scary. _Unstoppable force of freakin nature_ scary. And as far I can tell, they're on our side. But just in case, Dean and I are hidin' the porno.

_QUESTION:_ _Ever take down a Loki?_

ANSWER: No, and judging from the boys experiences, I don't _want to._

_QUESTION: How well did you know John?_

ANSWER: Pretty damn well. Seeing as I was one of the last few people on God's green earth who was willing to put up with his bullshit.

_QUESTION: Did you ever have another relationship after your wife?_

ANSWER: Nah, just a bunch of one night stands. Thinkin' of another woman the same way I thought about my wife makes me sick to my belly.

_QUESTION: Why does Dean love pie?_

ANSWER: The same reason _anybody _likes pie, ya idjit.

Well that's all for this week. I'll be here to answer your question the next.

TBC...

**A/N: And remember to leave your questions in the review section!**


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER****: Me? Own Supernatural? That's about as likely as Dean giving up classic rock and roll.**

**A/N: Please leave your questions in the Review box, or just PM them to me. I promise I'll answer all I can.**

**SESSION TWO**

_QUESTION: What was your first reaction to Sam and Dean?_

ANSWER: At first I said, "John, who're these idiots?" Then I said, "YOU BROUGHT YOUR DAMN KIDS INTO THIS?!"

_QUESTION: __What did you say to John when you learned of Sam going to Stanford?_

ANSWER: I told John to just let it go. Sam knows to much about the evil shit out their to turn his back on it _forever._ Hunter's never really retire. We just take long breaks before we go back to killing evil bastards again.

_QUESTION: Have you heard from Ellen yet?_

ANSWER: Yeah, she's busy trying to dig her way out of a financial shitstorm. Having your Roadhouse burn to the ground will do that to ya.

_QUESTION: __Is Jo one of those evil things that should be destroyed?_

ANSWER: No, however irritating some of us find her, Jo ain't one of the bad guys. Just really annoying. Her mother too, now that I think of it.

_QUESTION: Got any good stories of Sam and Dean?_

ANSWER: Hundreds. But one that comes to mind is the time where Sam dented the hell out of their car's hood after being thrown into it by an ashram spirit. Dean got back at him by... well, let's just say it involved a fricracker, a toilet, a few rolls of mentos, and a keg of diet coke.

Moral of the story; don't fuck with Dean's car. Even by accident.

_QUESTION: What's up with Sam's powers?_

ANSWER: You think _I_ know? Most I can guess is that Sam and all those other kids were born on what I call A Bad Day. Now, the Bad Day is random, never know who's gonna be born on it. People born on this day have a tendency to either become evil overlords, or they end up as God's bitch.

_QUESTION: Why was Dean able to see demons near his death._

ANSWER: Didn't I already answer this? It's because Dean, at the time was Hell's Bitch, and he could see Hell's OTHER Bitches. That simple.

**A/N: And remember to leave your questions in the review section!**


End file.
